there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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