He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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