it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
