I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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