return my video game
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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