I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The Olympian is in my bed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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