Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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