Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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