when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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