4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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