apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize