HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship