i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.