I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
