i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
