Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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