whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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