I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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