Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
