he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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