My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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