He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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