So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
