people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
