I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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