dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
