yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
