Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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