Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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