Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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