You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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