I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
