Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?