Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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