its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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