I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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