Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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