Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Naked. naked and bneed help.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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