Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What a dumb baby whore.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
