I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The power of my boobs compel you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
