ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
