Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
