O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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