weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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