cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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