Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
