I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize