Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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