So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
