i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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