woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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