and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
