You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
