Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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