I didn't shave. On purpose
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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