Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
